Press Pause.

Am I the only one questioning where 2018 has gone?! I remember launching this blogging effort last November in an attempt to continue the healing and regeneration process my heart so desperately needed. As I glance back, I must say time flies when God is loving on you! The revolution, irrigation and excavation in my heart continues. I am looking forward to each new chapter ahead as the best is yet to come, for both you and me!

This week has been filled with a combination of Thanksgiving preparation and pre-Christmas planning. Last year, my crew went out for dinner, but this year we’re cooking and baking it all. Consequently, the coordination of cleaning collard greens, dicing carrots, seasoning the turkey, and stocking our home with copious amounts of butter and sugar all while keeping the mood elevated in an otherwise cold and potentially homesick season, has been tiring!

I’ve been praying quite a bit lately on how my words and intentions impact my home environment and the word that keeps visiting me is, “pause.” Out of all the words to come to my heart, why would that be the one that sticks? Hit me with a good one, God, was my immediate thought. I did not fully grasp what the Lord was trying to open my eyes to until my little beauty said to me on a Friday-morning drive to school, “Mommy, last night you rolled off the couch and covered your head with the blanket and fell asleep. Me and James said my prayers without you.” My husband added, “I’ve never seen you voluntarily sleep on the floor.” This girl values a good mattress + duvet, so my husband wasn’t alone in his surprise! :)

Although having a full-time career, a husband and a daughter is quite the full plate, none of those roles produce that level of fatigue! My habitual lack of pressing the pause button is a sure-fire way, however, to slam on the brakes of my constantly moving locomotion. 

I haven’t met a single person who doesn’t have a busy life. We’re raising children to be exemplary humans, building beautiful marriages that stand the test of time, establishing careers in a world where you can quickly be replaced, being good stewards of our friendships, pursuing the creativity in our hearts that we were born to express, trying to return text messages within a 24-hour period (sorry, friends!) and {insert your personal task here}. There will always be another line item to check off on our to-do list. But, without taking pause to recharge and be present, the collateral damage you cause to yourself and the beauty of what and whom you’re attached to, becomes a mess you’ll never be ready to clean up.

I press pause in my home by turning the television off after dinner. I wash the day off my face, light candles in the bathroom for our shower and bath time, put an Apple Music playlist of Stevie Wonder/ Fred Hammond/ Yebba/ The Gap Band (yes, I am only 33 years old!)/ Esperanza Spalding and Elevation Worship on while my husband cleans the kitchen. I cease initiating any conversation that will produce anxiety, unrest, anger or any other harmful fire that may still have embers in the morning. 

I encourage you, especially in this year’s holiday season, to evaluate where you can press pause in your home and change its atmosphere. Jot a quick list and execute it! Let the peace that pause brings be your perpetual pursuit. 

I am wishing you a very warm and comforting Thanksgiving. You are so very loved and I am truly grateful to share this journey; the pursuit of beauty from the inside out, with each of you. x